ROUGH FRIDAY AND BIG WEEKEND AHEAD

You know how sometimes you will go through stretches in life and everything you do is right? Your order always comes out correct, you hit all of the traffic lights on green and basically things are easy. Then other times, if you had a pet duck, it would drown. Those times are tough. It seems nothing you do is easy. Well, for the last couple of months, I have been having a GREAT run. My selections are easy winners, the kids are doing great and if the traffic light is red, I'm not stopping because I know it is going to be OK. Kidding. Friday, some of those easy trends took a turn for the worst.  I am not saying things are bad, because they certainly are not but I am saying that if in 3 months, I have gained 20 lbs,I have been in a wreck and my daughter comes home and says she wants to take stripper pole classes I will tell you it started to turn Friday. I started the day harmlessly enough agreeing to meet my sons class for lunch before they went to a museum for a field trip. As I pulled in to eat with the kids, I was informed they were going go to the Museum first and then go eat.Although, every bone in my body told me to get back in the car and go back to work, I was already there, so I agreed to join them for an hour or so to look at art. BIG MISTAKE.  We walked in and there was security everywhere. I asked if the President was looking at the Indian art or maybe the 1500 year old 2' yellow horse from the Lin dynasty? They said no, in fact it is normal procedure to have 50 guys that have been given a walkey talkey,$7.00/hour and a tiny bit of power who's job it is to swarm the Museum and look out for mayhem.. It was clear to me that the only reason they had been called over from Labor Ready is to make sure I didn't lean on the wall or answer my phone or basically try and have ANY fun during the tour guides 20 minute lecture on the difference between a red clay pot and a black clay pot.  Seriously, I am in the wrong occupation. These 3 Russian "artists" have hit the occupation lottery. They took some old wood, nailed it together and called it art! I never took wood shop but I promise I could make something that looked better than that piece of junk.I would have understood it he was a blind Russian or maybe lived in the dessert and had to carry the wood a long way when he made it but it was nothing like that. He was a fully functioning Russian that had a nail gun and a dream and someone told him he was an artist. I don't get it. Needless to say, it was a huge waste of my time that I will never get back.  I lost my first Thursday night game in over a month so today's games are important. I haven't lost in over a month and don't want to start now.

 

We play a football team on Sunday that,rumor has it, has a kid that is 11 playing QB. I am not sure how an 11 year old gets to play in the 9 year old league and I am hoping it is just a rumor. Sometimes these things are said when there is a good player. Whatever the case, I can promise you I am going to get to the bottom of it and will let you know.

LITTLE LEAGUE AND BASEBALL

It has been a while since I have updated you on little league action. The last time we talked, I was "making up" with the parents at another school that competed against my 9 year olds football team. Since then a lot has changed. I have only had a couple of flare ups with parents ect and actually have really enjoyed a lot of the teams we have played against.Their coaches have been great sports and most of us are out there for the same thing. I was sure this season was going to be full of problems and suspensions. Not the case. I HAVE heard of some problems in some of the other leagues. Someone told me there was an actual fist fight between two parents in the fifth grade league. I cant confirm this but it certainly wouldn't surprise me. It obviously is totally inappropriate but with the amount of jackass parents running around out there AND the fact we are in Oklahoma, I am just saying , I wouldn't be surprised. The sad thing is , when the parents are out there with the right attitude, coaching football has been one of the highlights of my year. Keep in mind, I am having a GREAT season, but even that success doesn't make me as happy as seeing the smiles on the kids face when they do something good. I give away "Nacho players of the game" each week to some of the kids. We have the offensive and defensive awards but also have awards like the 'healthy heart " award for the kid that shows the most heart each week. The kids love getting these awards and the free nachos that come with them. Feel free to steal that idea if you are coaching a team. Trust me, the only thing a 9 year old loves more than being singled out for his good play is when that award comes with nachos.

Caytie Ross, my 6 year old daughter is in week 8 of her soccer season. I have talked about the girls on this team, they are cute little girls that love fashion and have great looking hair bows. They will not however be mistaken for the girl from Bend it Like Beckham or Mia Ham. They are not good! They are 0-8 and have lost every game by an average of 8 goals. The great thing about this is most of the girls can barely count to 8. Most don't keep score in their heads and there isn't a score board where they play. Each week my daughter asks me, "daddy, did we win?" Every week my answer is the same, " of course you won Caytie. It wasn't even close." She smiles and we go get a snack. Next week is their last game of the season, she asked me tonight," daddy, it we win this game are we the champions?" I said "Caytie, you have already secured a trophy. The only question left to be answered is how big is the trophy.That will be decided next Saturday." She looks at me with a determined look as if to say, I will do it for you daddy! That is how I prefer to go through little league. I am an "everybody gets a trophy" kind of guy.

The World Series has started. You know the networks have to be pissed! They had a chance to have LA Dodgers and Boston. Instead they get Philly and Tampa. Worst case scenario for them. I like Philly in 6 games but honestly wont watch many games unless football isn't on. Tonight it is Wedding Crashers on one TV and the baseball on the other. There are worst ways to spend a Wednesday night. I hope your Wednesday is going well also. I am finished with my Saturday selections and they look great. We haven't had a losing week since 9-9 and I don't plan on starting this week, things look great. Jack

THIS WEEK...

It was a very busy week and I am glad it is behind me.Every time I say " I had a busy week" I feel a little stupid. I mean if you think about it, I probably don't even know what a busy week is.Sure I worked from 7am until after midnight Monday and Tuesday but what was I actually doing? It isn't like I was operating on someone or digging a ditch. I had a business trip, but it was to Vegas. Not exactly like  someone going to Milwaukee to sell office supplies. It was a business trip but I ate at Joes Stone Crab and got a massage at Caesars. And no she wasn't blind. So lets just say the week was busy for me.

 

I went to Vegas to compete in the Leroys Sports books, Money Talks Invitational, handicapping contest. I did some radio stuff and then competed against another gambler with our selections over the weekend. The one that picked the most winners out of 7 games advanced to the next round and the loser was out. There were 16 guys invited to compete so if I win 4 rounds I get $80,000.00. This last week I went up against a guy named Jorge Gonzales. Yes, that is his real name. I went 5-2 with my selections and advanced to the next round. I will be going back the weekend of 11-21 for the next round.

 

I got a call from an irate blind woman this weekend. She had listened to my show and decided I hated blind people. Now, I tried not to get angry with her, after all she IS blind, but it was really hard. She was meaner than that mom from Roosevelt and I didn't do half as much to provoke her. All I said was she gave a bad massage and I thought I might have a problem because I went through an entire massage and didn't realize she was blind.  She turned that into ,I hated blind people and she gave a bad massage BECAUSE she was blind. I spent 5 minutes of my Saturday morning (when I am suppose to be getting clients signed up) telling this woman I loved the blind! That was actually a lie because,blind or not, I don't love the  woman that called me.

 

We had our 6th winning week in a row. I am 35-11 over the last 4 weeks. That is really good!! Get signed up and I will check back wih little league stuff later in the week.

WHAT DAY IS THIS

It feels like I have been running around with my head cut off. I think I enjoyed Dallas but was very busy and was feeling kind of sick when I came home. I woke up today thinking it was Thursday and thought I was going to miss my plane to Vegas. Of course, it is only Tuesday and am not late for anything.

I did have a couple of things happen in Dallas.

First, I use to think there was a big difference between the fans from Texas and those from Oklahoma. It always seemed from a far that the Texas fans were smarter, a little more pompous and knew how to hold their liquor a little bit better than the OU fan. The Ou fan always appeared drunker, louder and had a bunch of women fans that were sure they knew everything there was to know about football but actually only knew that they liked winning. Nobody cares if you are screaming the wrong thing when you are winning but go to a game and sit in the OU section when they are losing and have some lady start screaming, " that was a block in the back!!!' when they are at a TV timeout and see how many looks you get. The fact is the Texas fans are exactly like OU fans, they just are uglier because they are wearing burnt orange. I'm not saying I'm a fan either way but there is no debating the fact, burnt orange is ass ugly on everyone.

Second, I came back from the game and decided to go get a massage. I called the hotel spa and asked for their best " deep tissue, female therapist". They told me they had a GREAT one and come on up. I met the girl after waiting 15 min for her to show up. The massage was only 35 min and was suppose to be 50 minutes. I then talked to the girl a bit and returned to the room. My wife said," what happened? You are back early." I didn't take my watch so I didn't realize it was short and frankly it was one of the worst massages ever and I was glad it was over. She said, I needed to call down and tell the spa to take the $100.00 off the bill. I don't like to complain about stuff like that but decided to at least let them know what happened. I called the spa and explained my afternoon. the manager said, " Mr Ross, I am so sorry, the lady you met with was blind and she must have not set her timer correctly." Now, I am not sure what bothered me more, the fact that their best therapist is a blind woman that gives a terrible massage or the fact that I never realized she was blind!! I told them never mind and hung up the phone.

Quite a weekend. It never seems to be dull in my life. Off to Vegas Thursday, I will try and check in from there. We had ANOTHER WINNING WEEK! Have a good evening and enjoy playoff baseball.

THE A B Cs OF THE BLOG

We are right at the 1 year anniversary of this blog. I am sure most of you have the exact date posted on your calender.lol. for the most part I have enjoyed sharing parts of my life and have received literally 10s of emails from people saying they enjoy reading it. I did want to take a second to explain my blatant disregard for the English language while writing each week. I have been asked many times to have someone proofread the blog. My wife " Mrs Fat Jack" has an English degree,and has volunteered on numerous occasions to look over each entry and make the necessary changes. Some tell me that, when I write incorrectly, it makes me sound "uneducated" or even "stupid".  I have considered all of this and yet I do nothing to make the blog more "grammatically friendly" for the scores of readers. Why? Why do I do this?   Well, it is actually a very simple explanation.  I honestly don't care. I honestly couldn't care less if those people that read this blog worry or think about all of the errors I have left behind.  Truth is, I hated English. I never cared what a gerund or a participle was. I wasn't interested in the fact that compound sentences were a bad thing.  Oh, I cared enough to pass. I cared enough to stay eligible and compete in athletics. I cared enough to finish College but I don't care enough to go back and correct a blog entry and honestly I would feel a little bit vein if I did. Think about it, knowing it isn't a strength of mine, I decide to write a blog and then either pay or waste someones time to go back and proof it? Is what I have to say THAT important? Is it so earth shattering that if I don't use the correct contraction or miss a period then the readers will somehow not get all they can from the entry?  the truth is, I am happy,nae, flattered that most of you would take time to come and check in for the updates of my fourth grade football team or the fact I ate too much at the state fair but if you are someone that is REALLY bothered about my grammar then maybe it isn't me that has the problem, maybe you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself, why do I care? Why does it bother me? And if it does bother me why in the hell do I keep coming back and reading this idiots entries!?  For those of you that are saying " but Jack, if people think you are stupid or dont have good grammar, they might not sign up for your service."  If you are one of those people, then the joke is on you. You truly don't understand what I do or how good I am at it. It would be like you being lost in the desert and I own the only water store. You walk up and say " Im not buying water from this stand because he spelled water, wataaerezasr."  If you need water, you buy it from me.  Most people that sign up for my service do so because I offer them something that they cant get anywhere else.  SUCCESS. The ability to turn a profit while betting on sporting events. NOBODY does that better than I do and it wouldn't matter if I was the dumbest person in the world, my clients would still sign up because I MAKE THEM MONEY.   So don't worry about me, as long as people gamble on sports, I will be fine. And if they ever stop playing I can always go write a book about how to get people to read your blog even if they don't gamble and you have bad grammar.  I will use a ghost writer for that. 

 

WE ARE 21-6 OVER THE LAST 16 DAYS!!! THAT MEANS IF YOU BET $100.00 ON EACH OF MY SELECTIONS, YOU ARE UP $1400.00!!!! NOT BAD FOR AN IDIOT.  

 

If you are betting on the games, sign up today and have a great weekend. Jack

HUGE WEEK IN THE BOOKS AND BUSY COUPLE OF WEEKS AHEAD

This last week was very busy but also a lot of fun. Some of the weeks highlights were posted on this blog so I wont bore you with them but it was also filled with great picks and lots of profit for my clients and I. Yesterday, we had our second fourth grade tackle football game. We played a team that is coached by a guy we have seen before and always has his teams prepared. During the game, a couple of our kids got mad at each other and started fighting after the whistle. The other coach immediately stepped in and we brought the kids together and calmed things down. Football has been interesting in that at times it has been easy to stop looking at these kids as fourth graders and just look at them as football players. I think one of the most important things we can do as coaches is remember they are children and take those opportunities to stop play and teach these little kids how to resolve their problems with the other team, before they escalate and become a big deal.  I also had a parent of mine get a little upset with the playing time of his kid. We had a passionate talk about my trying to get all 26 kids more playing time while still trying to win the game. We also talked about when is and is not an appropriate time to ask if their kid can play more. I think we will both do better.  We are in week 2 of the games and I have already had 2 different problems with people. I can only wait to see what the rest of the season brings. One of the exciting things has been is I never know who or when I am going to piss someone off.Most people that know me will tell you, I am one of those people that doesn't mind conflict. In the past I used as a way to vent frustrations and did things that were childish.The president of a local bank once tried to stiff me the 950.00 he lost to me playing golf so I took the opportunity to post  4'x20' banner all over his neighborhood, telling everyone what kind of person he was. After 3 days of things I am not proud of, his wife finally wrote me a check. I am not proud of my actions, but it does illustrate how far I've come in the last few years. I will say I have been REALLY proud of myself as to how I have handled these little conflicts. In the past, I would have just declared all out war on people and not taken the time to look in the mirror and see how I could have behaved different. Now, I still have some of those urges but I take a second to think before I go,add a new feature to my show,or buy a billboard to vent my anger. Wayne Dyer would be proud. The truth is I am normally at least part to blame for any issues that may arise in my life and finally being able to look at that first has saved myself and others a lot of headache. Bring on the next flare up. LOL.

 

We went 11-3 in my selections last week. Life is sooo much easier when we string lots of winning weeks together.

 

This week starts a stretch of very busy days. Friday, I am off to Dallas, Texas for some radio and the OU vs Texas game on Saturday, then back for football Sunday. Wednesday I will be shooting TV commercials all day for a casino here in Oklahoma. Thursday , I am off to Vegas to participate in the first round of  $80,000.00 Leroys Sports Book Invitational Football Handicapping  Championship. I will do a national radio show Friday night and lots of other events over those 3 days.

I am running really well and hope I can stay hot for that.

 

Have a great week. If you are driving to a game this weekend, be safe and I will check back in a couple of days.

WEEKEND LOOKS GOOD, NEW CLIENTS AND MENDING FENCES

Well, it has been VERY busy the last couple of days. The new month means the clients that signed up for 30 days are set to renew. I am happy to say that out of the 835 clients that were having to pay for the new month, all but 16 decided that winning was a good idea as we head into October. Starting the year winning is a great thing and October is normally our best month of the football season. The clients that waited to sign up now instead of at the beginning of the season missed a great start and are typically down on the year but it isn't too late to make them a lot of money this season. A long way to go. I always say, it is a marathon and not a sprint. Not that important how we do in one month, but how we finish the season.

 

I had a meeting today with the production people for some TV commercials we will be running for some poker events this winter at the Lucky Star so get ready for my ugly face to invade the commercial breaks during your favorite shows.

 

 For those of you that are keeping up with my 4th grade tackle football saga and the developing feud between myself and Roosevelt08mom. I have some news... after some negations between the parties and some  concessions by both sides, the "developing conflict" has been resolved.  I offered up an apology for offending some of the parents and players at Roosevelt Elementary and encouraged a symbolic " sportsmanship embrace" before our next meeting. The ARPOTTFTTHTFJA or their more familiar name,  Angry Roosevelt Parents Of Their Tackle Football Team That Hate The Fat Jack  Association, through their leader, Roosevelt08mom have declined the invitation to meet for an embrace but sent me this email 

 

Dear Jack,

 

We wanted to let you know that the email was not written by one person, but was a collaborative effort on the part of several mom's who were not amused by the constant abuse of our team and coach on your radio show and blog.  We do not believe that issues regarding our children are  always appropriate topics for public talk radio.  The "idiot, jackass, stupid" dad that ACCIDENTIALLY caught the ball in the air made a simple mistake.  He, just as you and all the other dad's out there are volunteers who do not derserve constant ridicule when they make a mistake...and neither do you!  We owe you an apology for the nasty things that were said in the email, it shouldn't have been an attack on you, but rather on your behavior.  Sorry!

The email was sent to simply say--Let's keep the focus on the reason we are ALL out there--the boys who so look up to us for example!  Although we may not meet you on the fifty-yard line for the very tempting "sportsmanship embrace," we would be happy to wave to you from the sidelines!  See you in the playoffs!

Rooseveltmoms08

 

Let this be a lesson for the leaders of the countries around the world.  If the parents from Roosevelt Elementary and a Jackass coach from Truman can come together and bury their differences so that all parties can benefit and have a more enjoyable football season. Anything is possible.

 

THATS HOW YOU MEND FENCES,BABY!!! HAVE A GREAT WEEK AND GET SIGNED UP!!!!!