WII FIT = WTF

My kids are like millions of kids everywhere in that they like video games. Other than a 6 month stint as a overnight Techmo Bowl guy in college, I have never really been into video games. My son got Wii Fit for his upcoming birthday and since I turned 39 last Thursday, I decided to go and check it out. Few will argue I could stand to lose a few LBS but most who have seen me in action will also tell you I am still pretty athletic for an old fat guy. I can still run a 10 minute mile, do 30 push ups, have a pretty good jump shot and can still hit a baseball and golf ball with just about anybody. So I feel like I am doing OK, not great but OK. Well, Wii Fit would beg to differ!! I signed up tonight in hopes to see where I ranked and maybe get on a program to lose a few pounds. After standing on the game board and doing some stupid balancing test, the Wii basically said I was going to die next week! the lady went on to say, she wasn't sure how I got out of bed each day and asked if I fell down a lot when I walked!! It DIDNT ask if I was athletic, if I could run a 10 minute mile or how my jump shot was. My BMI or BPI was off the chart!! AND it said I should be 54 years old and was weak!! Now, when I went up to play this "fitness game" I felt ok about my life and was ready to trim down a bit for swimsuit season but after being laughed at by Wii, I was sad and going to get some ice cream before I sat down to write out my last will and testiment. Just as I was getting ready to get some Carmel sauce and go into a deep depression, something dawned on me.. Wii Fit was not made in America. It was made in China or Japan by a group of 5' ,110lb china men that most likely eat a lot of rice and play speed golf for fun. A lot of small guys that were put into trash cans by future sumo wrestlers in high school. I am not sure these guys have the life experience to judge the quality of my physical makeup. Now, don't get me wrong, I am sure that if you just look at my numbers on a game board and my balance, my future may not look that bright but when you look at the whole me, you will see I am not a 500 lb ,54 year old that is living on deaths door! I am instead, a 39 year old pretty fat guy that can still bring it, in a lot of arenas and until that fades, I feel pretty good.

If you listen to the Fat Jack Sports Hour you know I have picked the last 4 NCAA Champions BEFORE March 5th. This is before the conference tournaments and well before the NCAA brackets are out. This season, I gave UCONN as the eventual winner and with 2 games to go I feel pretty good about my prediction. We just finished a nice week winning Thurs, Friday and Sat and pushing on Sunday. Hopefully this week goes just as well.

My father in law comes into town on Thursday night. He is the example of a guy that swims a mile each day, has a great BMI and I am sure the Chinese in the Wii game would love but he is still a douche and no matter how thin he gets will still not be a good looking or healthy person. There is a lot more to health than your BPI. Have a great week and good luck in the games.

SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO

I am back from Florida and am now the owner of the Fat and Sassy III. Now depending on how you look at it, that is either a good thing or a reason for concern. Most people that keep up with my boat know it has been a real love/hate relationship. Well, not any more. I took a class and that class, along with my ability to learn from my previous mistakes, is making this new boat a very happy experience. I drove the boat about 40 miles through a lot of tricky spots and didn't ground it even once! We had one close call but 0 calls to sea tow. That is a great start.

I was going to have a meeting in Vegas this weekend but at the last minute, decided not to go and postpone the meeting until early May. I did this because I just got back in town on Wednesday and had some work to do here but more important, both of my kids were supposed to have sporting events this weekend. My daughter, coming off her historic 5 goal performance in her first game of the season was going to have soccer both days and Jackson was going to have their pre-season baseball tournament. All of this combined, lead to my decision to stay in town. Then, I watched the news. If you turn on the news in Oklahoma today, you would quickly be convinced the world is going to come to an end this weekend. Apparently, the storm of the Century is on its way. We are going to have 25 feet of snow! Cats and dogs will begin to mate and have babies because of the brutal cold! There will be no food or water for weeks because the wind is going to blow the roofs off all of the stores and the crackers, can goods, etct are going to freeze! This is a huge event, if you watch the news. Because of this, sports are canceled and nothing is going to happen this weekend. I am thinking about taking the direct flight on Saturday and come back Tuesday. I could have my meetings and not have to sit here and listen to my kids tell me they are bored. Of course, if the news is correct, I might want to be around to see the carnage. Hard decision. I will let you know what I decide.

Oklahoma plays tonight is the NCAA tournament. We were 2-1 last night and Oklahoma -1 is one of my selections tongiht. It will give me something to watch with the kids.

Things are getting ready to get really busy. I have "The Fat Jack Hoops and Holdem "Poker Classic next weekend. My daughter has a dance performance and my jackass father-in-law is coming in to speak at OU. That ought to be AWESOME!

then

I am going to Phoenix for the Indian Gaming Convention to meet with a slot machine company about the Fat Jack, All American Gambler Machine.

then

more dancing,soccer and baseball with the kids

then May 11-14 The World Series of Golf in Vegas

and finding NBA and NCAA winners during all that time.

I will try and do better with my updates. Have a great weekend and stay ALIVE if you are living in the storm of the century. ..... Whatever.

DADDY TRIP AND CONFERENCE TOURNAMENTS

 

I am in Florida on the second annual Caytie/Daddy trip. For those of you that are new to the blog, every year, I take each of my kids on a small vacation with just them and I. Normally, I take Caytie before spring break and Jackson after school gets out for the summer. I recommend this for any father out there that either wants to get to know their kid a little better or wants to create a memory that neither of you will ever forget. I dont think it matters at all where you take them, it is all about the idea it is just you and them. For them, it makes them feel like you are only there for them, and I promise you, it will force you to have a conversation with your kids that you might not have otherwise. When mom is there, she will almost always run interference for you, even if you only are with one kid. When it is just Caytie and I, and she says " I wonder what why Mickey and Minnie Mouse have never had kids?", you are the only one there to give the answer. We spent most of the day doing things that make her happy and after we came back so I could watch some of the games. I started to change the tv and she looked at me and said "daddy, turn it back to soccer, I want to see how THEY roll." I guess the fact her 6 year old soccer team is 1-0 gives her an opinion on what we watch. I explained why we care more about the Baylor score than how soccer people roll. She seemed to understand.

 

Last night we didnt get in until after midnight and the only thing that kept her awake is the fact I rented a "slug bug " for a rental car. I was hurrying to get to the house we are staying at and all the sudden I look up and a police car is behind me. I am sure they were profiling the very volatile combination on a fat guy and a 6 year old girl in a red convertible slug bug and decided to take us down. As the cop handed me the $245.00 ticket, I told him I was planning on having a huge week with the conference tournament games and didnt care about the ridiculous amount of the fine. Yes 51 in a 30 = $245.00, even in a slug bug. As I drove off I had no idea my punishment was just starting. Every time I pushed on the gas today my daughter said " daddy, the speed limit is 30 and you are going 31!" "daddy, the speed limit is 45 and you are going 47." After about 30 times, it becomes maddening! And again, I was the only one there to answer her.

 

We are making money almost every day over the last week and are looking for another huge March.

 

Go and hug your kids. Before you know it they will be grown up. I am the luckiest man in the world to be able to spend today with JUST my daughter. She is so special to me and I will never forget our trips. I love her sooo much and although I cant keep her 6 forever ( like I want to) I will always love and remember weeks  like this.  Good luck.

ONE OF THOSE DAYS

Today was one of those days that seems to come up every 6 months or so and only seems to happen to me. Now, keep in mind that I understand how this might make me look but I would just say that at least I have my child alive and I am not willing to give that up for better decision making abilities. Here is what happened...

 

There is a golf store in Norman that is going out of business and has slashed the prices on all of their clubs. I went in there on Monday and purchased a fairway wood that I thought might help me take my game to the next level. I have been invited to play in the World Series of Golf in Vegas coming up in May and I am trying to reignite my passion for the game. The weather is getting nicer but I haven't had a chance to go play and test out my new weapon so each day I go out into my front yard and swing the club.  Yesterday, I  saw a stray golf ball in the flower bed and thought about hitting it up the street. Now as I stood there looking up the street and thinking how I could pull this off without hitting anything, like any golfer faced with a big shot, I begin to size up the area.I live in a neighborhood that has streets lined with big houses worth somewhere around 700k and up. My neighbors are doctors, lawyers ect and am feel quite sure NONE of them would give me the green light on this shot. BUT.. as I stand there I really started seeing the shot and as time went on became very comfortable I could pull it off.  I went to sleep and thought more about it so when I got home this afternoon, I again reached in the trunk of my car and like Tiger Woods talking to his caddie, I asked for the 7 wood.  My wife had taken my son to the eye doctor , I was home with Caytie and it seemed like the perfect time to pull it off.  The plan was to hit the ball apx 200 yards up the street and where it intersected with another street, the ball would bounce on the concrete and go over the fence of the big house on the other side of the intersection and land harmlessly in their back yard.  I put the ball down in the front yard, told my 6 year old to keep the noise down and I approached the shot. I made sure the streets were clear and I took the club back, everything felt good until I got to the top of my back swing. As I started down, I paniced and thought I need to scale back the shot and only hit it 180 yards in the air. That doubt made me slow my downward swing and as Tiger could tell you, that is going to make you raise up as your club gets to the ball hit it thin!  The ball takes off about 5 feet off the ground like a missile out of a cannon! As it reaches the top of the street, a Chevy Yukon rounds the corner and my ball goes slamming into the front of the car making a sound as if someone had been shot at the top of the hill. The car swerved and went towards the neighbors yard and then regained control and headed down the hill where i was standing, 7 wood in hand. As the Yukon reached the end of the street, the window rolled down and the 17 year old son of one of my neighbors poked his head out. I stood there leaning on my new club and he looked at me in shock, neither of us choosing to speak. After about 10 seconds I said, " ah , words can not express how sorry I am for the events that just took place." I could tell you I thinned the shot and if I had stayed down, this would not have happened to you and for that, I am sorry." To my amazement, the kid said," no big deal.Not a problem. " Now, I am smart enough to know that even if it truly isn't a big deal to the 17 year old, it IS going to be a big deal to mom and dad. I followed him to his house and again tried to pay for the damage to his car but with neither of us being in the dent repair business, it was an awkward conversation. I feel like  Bobby Brady right after he broke the vase while playing catch in the house and I am trying to throw money at a high school kid that isn't sure what he is suppose to do! After all, I am suppose to be the adult!! I return home and as I am walking back to the house, my wife pulls up and asks what is going on, I simply respond, " well, there was an incident." After I regroup, I decide to go up to the place I would go to get my car fixed if some jackass hit a golf ball down the street and damaged my car. As I pulled up to the dent repair place, I look over and guess who is there getting an estimate on his car? None other than my 17 year old victim. Mom and dad apparently thought it was a bigger deal and told him to get an estimate. I got out and paid for the dent, a car detail and offered him some new rims. He declined and settled for the detail and repair.  I consider the matter closed and hope we both have a better Thursday.

 

I am having a tough run in hoops but am confident it will turn. I am still up on the season and am very excited about the tournaments next week.  Have a good week.