ALL I CAN SAY IS .....WOW!!!

Actually, I can think of a lot of other things I could say but I am trying to stay classy!!  Kidding. I am in Vegas wrapping up my handicapping contest. Here is the long and short of it. I went 5-2 this weekend with my selections. My winners were

 

CSU+2- WON STRAIGHT UP

ARIZONA-3  WON BY MORE THAN 10

BUFFALO +6 - WON STRAIGHT UP

SAN DIEGO +3 - WON STRAIGHT UP

ATLANTA +3  WON STRAIGHT UP!!!

 

My losers were

SAN FRAN AND

CAROLINA ON SUNDAY NIGHT

As you can see, no luck here. Just good winners and a bad loser and Carolina.

 

I went against the owner of eog.com . His name is Ken and he is a nice guy. Obviously, he has been volunteering with orphans or something.

 

Along with his winners, he had the NAVY total to go OVER. If you remember, this game, it was the one where Wake was trying to run out the clock by handing the ball to their fullback from about the 40 yard line and on the last possible play that wouldnt be a kneel down, Navy stopped tackling!!!! They simply let the Wake player run 40 yards for a meaningless score,unless you needed the game to stay under the total. THEN Tonight he had the Giants -3. I dont need to tell you what happened there.  So here is where we stand, if Green Bay wins on Monday night OR loses by 4pts or less, Ken wins. I will take my 21-7 record and head into the new year!!!!  If Chicago , and their high powered offense can somehow figure a way to win by more than 4 points, we tie. Yes, TIE. I am not sure what we will do to break the tie but stay tuned if Chicago covers. 

 

I will be somewhere between Vegas and Orlando when the game is over. That is probably best, I dont need to watch an intentional safety for a 2 point Chicago win. .

 

I promise to be in a better mood next time, no matter what happens. It is Christmas week and I have a lot to be thankful for. It was just a tough weekend to watch the games. Have a good week. Jack

MAYHAM IN THE AM AND PM BUT......READY

It has been a CRAZY week. I got back from Vegas on Saturday, church on Sunday, Fat Jack Sports Hour taping on Monday, meetings Tuesday at the Lucky Star about poker and with a slot machine company that wants to develop a Fat Jack machine.... you get the idea. In the meantime, word went around the "gambling world" that I made the finals of the Leroys Money Talks contest. I am going up against a guy that owns a gambling website and made some comments that were meant to drive traffic to his website. Just as I was reading some of the ridiculous things he was saying, he called. He wanted to talk about the contest and discuss some different split options we might entertain so we both would make more money for our efforts. I wanted to talk about rather he had lost his f***ing mind. I asked him if the reason he was guaranteeing victory and saying I was scared was because he didn't take his medication OR if he had lost his f***ing mind. He said anything he said was because he was drumming up traffic for his website and to hype the contest. I all of the sudden felt like a wrestler in the WWE that hadn't been given the script.  After we worked through that, things calmed down and then I was off to Vegas today. Until.....

 

It started snowing in Vegas and the thickest fog I have ever seen rolled in to Oklahoma. My flight was canceled and I am back at the house. I will be catching a flight tomorrow afternoon and will be in Vegas in plenty of time for the radio show and any other type of mayhem that might ensue. It is always interesting when I get around people from other parts of the country for long periods of time. I dont beat around the bush and when I ask some people if they are out of their f***ing mind, they look shocked even though it was begging to be asked.

 

Oh well, the contest has been great and I will have the best overall record no matter what happens this week. Who are we kidding, I am going to go and do what I have done all football season and go 5-2 or better and bring back the 80k to the Oklahoma economy! Who wants dinner? I'm buying!!

BACK FROM VEGAS / HEADING TO VEGAS IN THE FINALS

    Well, I got back from Vegas on Saturday evening. I was there competing in the semi finals of the Leroys Invitational Sports Handicapping contest. I went up against a guy named Fezzic. Although, I wasn't aware of this at the time, he is apparently a big deal in the sports gambling community. If I have been guilty of one thing over the last few years, it is that I live a very polarized life here in Oklahoma. I have lots of clients from around the country but I have never reached out to the other sports gamblers in the country. I know A LOT  more pro poker players than I do sports gamblers and I am not near as good at poker as I am at picking football and hoops winners. One of the great things about this contest is I have had the chance to meet some of the guys that have been winning at betting on sports for a long time. Fezzic is one of these guys. I had another good week in the contest and am moving on to the finals. The finals are next Friday night and I frankly expect to do what I have done most weekends this season and go 5-2 or better with my selections and see if that is good enough to win. To this point it has been plenty good enough. My clients are having a great year and December is always a good month.In the finals, I am meeting another long time gambler with a good reputation of picking winners named the Shrink. He use to own www.theperscription.com and now owns www.eog.com . He is well respected and I have heard is a nice guy, it ought to be another good weekend in Vegas. I am going to go see Chris Angel Mind Freak on Sunday and probably go to the Las Vegas Bowl on Saturday.  Chris Angel freaks my freak and I am going to try and see if he will join me on my new baseball package. I figure if there is anyone that can predict the winners of the baseball games it is Chris Angel. I have the football and hoops selections covered.  

 

If you want to give a great Christmas gift to a gambler, try my bowl package. Only 349.00 and WE ARE GOING TO WIN $$$

 

I will be heading to Florida from Vegas to meet my people, I will check in from there.

HEADING TO COLORADO

I am going to my father-in-laws for Thanksgiving in Colorado. I don't have enough time to explain all of the things wrong with that so I will give you the short version. Starnes Elbert Walker III is my wife's father. He is a nuclear AND astro physicist. He is head of research for the defense department in Washington DC. The first time I met Starnes, I asked if it would be OK for me to aask his daughter to marry me. Starnes looked at me and said " you know, you can never make her happy." This is the woman that after 15 years of marriage is the light of my life and someone that is always happy. Not a good start. Since then our relationship has been filled with him telling me how important his job is and me telling him the spread on the Knicks game. He asks how much I weigh, I ask him to kiss my a**. In recent years, I have been trying to take the high road in a lot of situations and let go of some of my grudges. This weekend will be a real test of that. BTW, my wives sister is going to also be there. This is the girl that told me that she wishes My wife and I were both dead. Yep, its going to be a great weekend. I will let you know how it goes.

I also have been irritated by some idiot that sends me emails. He is a simple minded, hateful person that decided to get my picks and only bother me on the few losing days I have. Last week I won Monday, no email, I won Thursday, no email. I lose in overtime on Friday, he emails me some hateful gibberish. I go 5-1 on Saturday, no email. On Sunday I go 0-2 and complete another winning week but he emails to talk about Sundays losers. I normally don't respond or care about these idiots but I have decided to make him my project. His name is Patton Hayes . He is a 34 year old punk that stalk's his girlfriends and has a very pathetic life. I will be having more on this guy on the Fat Jack Sports Hour so be sure and tune in. Oh, and watch out ladies, he still has 3 years to go on his felony stalking sentence.Don't say I didn't warn you.

I also had a winning week in hoops last week so get signed up if you are playing the games and most of all have a very happy and safe Thanksgiving.

BACK FROM VEGAS AND THANKSGIVING WEEK!!

I am back from Vegas. As always, it was an interesting trip. I am always reminded of what a sheltered world Oklahoma is. I always seem to see things in Vegas that I never see around my house. I walked into Caesars on Wednesday and saw 2 Chinese men, both under 5' tall and they were making out next to the Wheel of Fortune slots. I could sit outside, anywhere in Oklahoma until I was 100 and never see 2 vertically challenged Chinese fellows getting it on in public. Even the State Fair crowd doesn't offer that.

 

I was in the quarter finals of the Leroys Handicapping contest where I went up against a good guy and a good handicapper named Lee Sterling. We had dinner before the radio show and had a lot of fun in Vegas. Lee also does a lot of radio each week and you really could tell when we did the hour radio show from The Riviera Casino. the quality of the show went up and it was a good time. Lee didn't have his best week and I was 6-1 with my selections. I will be moving on to the semi finals the week of 12-12.

First, we have Thanksgiving, then the Fat Jacks Best of the West Poker Classic at the Lucky Star- Clinton . I will be very busy over the next few weeks but it should be a lot of fun. Have a great weekend and I will check back in a few days.

A FUN WEEK AHEAD-VEGAS FOR ROUND 2

 We are in the middle of what has been a very busy stretch for me. After wrapping up Jackson's football team and the start of basketball, things have not let up. Last Saturday was my worst Saturday in 3 years!!!! Although we are going to have bad days each season, I hate it when it is on a Saturday. One of the down sides to winning most of the time is that when we lose, guys are not use to it. They get upset and some behave like children that have never bet before. After 7 years of offering my selections I am use to this and don't worry but I always try and remind guys that bet that the decisions you make when we are having a bad day will affect your overall profit just as much as the decisions you make when we are winning. It is hard for gamblers to stay patient. They want to try and get it all back before Sunday morning and I have to remind them that it is a long season in which we are making a lot of money and it is OK to have a losing day now and then. We did turn around on Sunday and go 4-1 and having been up before Saturday AND another winner Monday night with Cleveland, we are doing great. The only people complaining are "the idiots", and I learned a long time ago, you cant please the idiots.

 

I am heading back to Vegas tomorrow for the second round of the Leroy's Sports book Money Talks Invitational.  You might recall, in the first round I went up against a professional gambler named Jorge Gonzales. I didn't know Jorge as he is a "Vegas regular" and although the radio show was fun, we had very little to talk about. This weekend, I am going up against Lee Sterling of Paramount Sports. Lee is a guy from Miami that is one of the few guys in the business that I am friends with. He is a good gambler and a nice guy. We have a lot in common and this weekend should be a lot of fun. Although, I feel great about my chances this weekend and am confident I will move into the semifinals, if I don't win this contest I will be pulling for Lee. If you are in Vegas this weekend, we will be at the Riviera Casino on Friday night doing an hour radio show. I would love to meet you and talk to you about this weeks games. The radio show should be very entertaining as Lee and I do a lot of radio each week around the country. This will also be a great chance to make some money while in Vegas. The fact is Lee and I win with our selections each year and will be giving our best selections for the week in hopes of winning the contest. If you play both of our selections( 14 in all) there is a VERY good chance you are going to make money. I suspect it will take at least 5-2 to advance to the next round as there is a great chance we will both go over .500 with our selections. If you cant make it to Vegas this weekend, you can listen to the show on line by going to www.leroys.com and clicking on the Leroy's Sports Hour. The show is live from the Riviera each Friday night at 10pm  Vegas time.

4TH GRADE TACKLE FOOTBALL IS O V E R

Well the season is over. The Titans lost a close one Thursday night 7-6. After scoring on the first play of the game, we couldn't put it in again.(thats what she said) lol.  The other team scored late in the first half and were able to punch in their one point conversion play to move on to the finals on Sunday. I have to tell you, this is the first I have been able to talk about the season because I have really been sad it is over. When I had children, I always said I would NEVER coach my kids teams. I mean lets get serious, it is a thankless job (most of the time) requires lots of time and unless you win EVERY game, you are setting yourself up for second guessing and angry parents.  As I have said before,most people that knew me growing up will tell you I accomplished everything possible in little league sports so the concept of "living through my children in sports" is ridiculous to those that know me. So I didn't see any reason to coach. It seemed like letting others coach and just being the parent was the smart thing to do.

BUT

Now that I have had the chance to experience a season as the coach of my boys football team, I cant imagine NOT coaching. I had a blast, the kids learned a lot about football, we won a lot of games, I got to have a positive influence on some kids that needed it and I didn't have to second guess some other guy that knows half as much as I do about football.  I had a great time and cant wait until next season. In the meantime, I will work on picking winners, being a good parent and having a lot more compassion for those fathers that take time out of THEIR busy lives to have a positive influence on my children. I was wrong about coaching little league and knowing that is going to make the rest of the journey with my kids that much better.

 

Back to Vegas this week for the second round of the Natl Handicapping contest, then to Colorado for Thanksgiving. I will be checking in and am continuing to stay hot with the picks. Have a great weekend.

LITTLE LEAGUE UPDATE AND TRUMAN PULLS OUT A CLOSE ONE

 

The game tonight between The Truman Titans against All Saints was your classic good vs evil match up. Similar to Miami, Fl vs Duke or pretty much The Miami Hurricanes against any team that isn't evil. These two teams had a battle for the ages.  All Saints drew first blood with an opening kickoff return for the touchdown that would set the mood for the first half.  The Titan coaching staff begin pointing fingers and it was decided that their obese head coach was to blame for a late kickoff team personnel change that the head coach authorized. Head coach, Fat Jack, was heard yelling " yea, I made the change and I don't give a rip who cares" as All Saints walked into the end zone and took a 6-0 lead.  The rest of the quick moving first half was a defensive struggle with # 25 and # 8 for All Saints tackling pretty much anyone that touched the ball for Truman.There were behind the scenes discussions to try and overthrow The Fat Jack as offensive coordinator, these attempts failed as Jack was heard saying" I am the only one with a kick off tee and I WILL take it with me if I'm fired!." The other coaches agreed that it would be tough to finish without a kicking tee and let Jack continue to call plays. At halftime, with Truman down 6-0 it was clear something had to be done if they were to get back in the game. Truman received the second half kickoff and momentum decided it was time to wear Titan blue for awhile. A few long runs later with Jack going  with an unorthodox 10 man offensive team, Truman tied the game 6-6. After the officials told Jack he only had 10 players on the last play he responded," Yes I did, Imagine what we would have done with 11!!" This plan DID backfire on the 2 point conversion try when the player that would have been blocked with Truman's 11th player, rushed into the backfield and dropped the Titan QB. It was 6-6 as the two teams headed into the fourth quarter and when Truman got the ball back with 5 min to play, they made one final push for the end zone. With 2:30 left and Truman on All Saints 10 yard line, it seemed that Truman would be able to break the tie but on a fourth and 5 from the 5 yard line. All Saints called in one last prayer request and held the Titan offense. After a 3 and out by All Saints, Truman got the ball back with 1:30 left in the game. Jack could be seen trying to draw up plays on his belly and begged SOMEONE on his team to step up and make a play. On third and 6 from the 40 yard line with only 30 seconds left, the Titan running back caught a pass and ran the length of the field and gave the Titans the victory. Final score 

 

TRUMAN 12

ALL SAINTS 6

 

 Although Truman was a 9 point favorite and didn't cover the point spread, Jack was happy with the win.

 

This sets up a rematch between Truman and their west side rivals Roosevelt. As you may recall, the last time these two teams met, like a good romance novel, there was some laughing, some crying, emotions ran high and tempers flared. A feud between The Fat Jack and a Roosevelt mother lasted almost 8 hours before cooler heads prevailed.  Although, the teams put the feud behind them, the players would be lying if they said tomorrows game was "just another game". When asked about Thursdays contest, Jack was quoted as saying " two teams will play Thursday night, one will win and one will lose. The one that loses will be disappointed and there season will be over and the winner will be about a 14 point underdog to Cleveland. We will do our best in the game and if our best isn't good enough, Sunday we will go to Mazzios and eat pizza." " Sounds like we win either way."

 

Roosevelt has been installed as a 6 point favorite and the total is 18. Good luck to both teams. I will let you know how it goes.

LITTLE LEAGUE MAY BE TAKING ITS TOLL

We start the playoffs tonight for my sons fourth grade football team. I have had a lot of fun coaching this team and the kids have been great. I am already looking forward to next season and watching them get even better. We do have some unfinished business that starts tonight. I have said before that these teams are pretty evenly matched so there are no guarantees on how many games we will play. Hopefully Sunday nights blog entry will be the last for the Titans this season,but we will see how it goes. 

 

Frankly, I think I might need a break from little league. I am a guy that never remembers what I dream unless it is really weird. Last night I had a dream that I was late to tonight's game. I was driving a school bus that didn't have any breaks. My son was the only passenger and he was trying to get dressed as I recklessly drove the bus across town. About half way across town, and the game about to begin, I lost control of the school bus and drove it through the Homeland building. My son was OK and we exited the bus in the bread isle of the local homeland. The Pakistani manager was yelling at me as I walked through the store but I couldn't listen to him, I walked over to the 8 items or less isle, picked up the phone and called my assistant coach. As the Pakistani Homeland manager was yelling at me, I begin  calling the offensive plays over the phone from the 8 items or less isle a the Homeland. When we were on defense, I would send Jackson on small errands to pick us up some treats around the store. I woke up as the game went into halftime.

 

Yea, I think I might need a break.  But after this week.

 

The football selections are still going great and this weekends games look good. Get signed up if you are betting on the games.

A NEW COMPUTER AND LITTLE LEAGUE ODDS

The weekend is here and I for one am excited. My computer came down with a virus and we had to go get a new one.  I hate computers but like exercise, it is a necessary evil in life. I wonder how a virus made its way into my computer. I don't look at porn and actually, I don't EVER open emails that I didn't ask for. I know just enough about "hackers" to be scared of every email I get. I always thought you had to watch porn or forward emails to get bugs but I apparently got lucky enough to get a virus that didn't require me to do anything. The new computer has a touch screen feature. I don't have any idea why I would want to touch the screen! I just learned how to work the mouse effectively. The last thing I need to be doing is touching the screen.  The words ARE a lot bigger but that is the only advantage I can see I will use. $1700.00 seems like a lot to have a bigger screen and things I wont ever use.

 

Soccer is over for Caytie Ross. They got their first win of the season in their last game. The girls were very happy and looking forward to a great party and some trophies. Their coach did a great job and the girls all had a great time. It is nice each time we get through a season and it was a good experience. Coach Matt was great and we are very thankful for the time he put in.

 

Fourth grade tackle football playoffs start next week. We are going to wrap up our regular season on Sunday and then start the "second season" Tuesday. We played the team we have on Sunday in the preseason and should beat them, if we do we will end the season 5-2. the playoffs should be quick and interesting. There is 1 team that is undefeated and are better than the rest of us and then there isn't much difference between the other teams. In this league, if you score 20 points you are probably going to win.

 

Here are the odds to win the Norman 4th grade Championship.

 

CLEVELAND/ JACKSON                 EVEN

ROOSEVELT                                      3-1

TRUMAN                                             3-1

MCKINLEY/MONROE                           6-1

ALL SAINTS/ADAMS                            6-1

WASHINGTON/KENNEDY/NOBLE        8-1

EISENHOWER/JEFFERSON/WILSON     10-1

LAKEVIEW/LINCOLN/MADISON           25-1

 

If you can find a place to bet these, you have a problem and need help!!! Otherwise, have a great weekend and I will let you know how it goes. 

 

VOTING DAY AND A GREAT YEAR FOR A PLAYOFF

 Well, the election is FINALLY over. I for one am glad. Not because we will be able to get our current president out of office, where by most accounts,  has been spending the last 8 years making decisions that a person of average intelligence and poor decision making skills would make. Seriously, George Bush has reminded me of myself on more than a few occasions. A guy that even when confronted with evidence to the contrary, insists he has made the right decision. A guy that clearly didn't know enough in a lot of areas to make good decisions for our country and continued to throw good money after bad into things that never made sense to people that wanted to apply common sense to the issues.  No, I am glad because the hateful candidate commercials will stop. I am sick of

 

" Did you know that Tom Jones hates kittens? Did you also know that he hates orphans? Of course not. Tom wants you to think he loves butterflies because he needs your vote. Don't give Ole Tom the satisfaction. Vote for Lewis because Lewis loves kittens AND orphans. Not like Tom Jones, who loves the Devil."  this ad was paid for by the jfohqnw[fas asasjsaj ]asdk 

 

It will be nice to have those gone and the holiday adds to start. BC Clarks ad will be coming on and lots of other things that will remind us that no matter who wins today, Christmas is coming and we are all probably going to be OK.

 

It is the time of year when I start to get angry at the NCAA. I start thinking about how stupid it is that the greatest sport in the world, doesn't decide its champion on the field.  I am not going to go into all of the ridiculous things the NCAA and the bowls throw out as reasons why a playoff wont work because I am sure most of you are smart enough to see that they don't make sense and just make the NCAA look stupid. I would just say that in a year like this, we are really going to get cheated out of some GREAT games. Can you imagine these first round match ups..

 

1) Penn State

      vs

8) Oklahoma State

 

4) Oklahoma

       vs

5) Florida

 

 

2) Texas Tech

       vs

7) Utah/Alabama

 

3) Texas

       vs

6)  USC

 

BTW, We start my fourth grade teams playoffs on Monday with 8 teams and will be finished by the following Sunday. I am positive,we could figure out a way to get these games in between 12-15 and 1-7-09. I am also sure we could figure out a way for the NCAA and the bowls to make money off of these match ups, it also allows the Utah's of the world to look their recruits in the eye and tell them they have a chance to win the National Championship if they win all of their games. The current system doesn't allow for that.  The rest of the bowls would OBVIOUSLY  stay the same so they wouldn't affect the other teams not in the Natl Championship race.  The current BCS bowls could rotate on who gets to host which rounds.  More money, better games and a TRUE National Champion.  Someone please explain what I am missing?

ITS BEEN ONE WEEK..

Its been a week since I have checked in and my only excuse is that little league, the new month,start of basketball and Halloween were all last week. Here are a few highlights of the last week.

 

Sunday- We got dominated by Clevelands fourth grade football team. The score was only 13-0 but we weren't even close to scoring. Our running back kept fumbling and I didnt have an answer in the playbook. They were coached by a guy I went to school with and he is a good guy and a good coach. I told my team we would work on how to beat them before the playoffs.

 

Monday- Taped TV commercials at the Lucky Star Casino. It was a long day but fun and the spot should be very funny.

 

You know, this blog entry is crap so far!!  I am losing interest in it and I know if you are reading it, you are probably losing interest also so I am going to wrap it up and come back when I am in a better place. I am going to Church and then back to complete another winning week. 8-2 this week so far and 2 games going today.

 

GRAND OPENING GRAND CLOSING!!!!  I will check back later. Have a good day.

ROUGH FRIDAY AND BIG WEEKEND AHEAD

You know how sometimes you will go through stretches in life and everything you do is right? Your order always comes out correct, you hit all of the traffic lights on green and basically things are easy. Then other times, if you had a pet duck, it would drown. Those times are tough. It seems nothing you do is easy. Well, for the last couple of months, I have been having a GREAT run. My selections are easy winners, the kids are doing great and if the traffic light is red, I'm not stopping because I know it is going to be OK. Kidding. Friday, some of those easy trends took a turn for the worst.  I am not saying things are bad, because they certainly are not but I am saying that if in 3 months, I have gained 20 lbs,I have been in a wreck and my daughter comes home and says she wants to take stripper pole classes I will tell you it started to turn Friday. I started the day harmlessly enough agreeing to meet my sons class for lunch before they went to a museum for a field trip. As I pulled in to eat with the kids, I was informed they were going go to the Museum first and then go eat.Although, every bone in my body told me to get back in the car and go back to work, I was already there, so I agreed to join them for an hour or so to look at art. BIG MISTAKE.  We walked in and there was security everywhere. I asked if the President was looking at the Indian art or maybe the 1500 year old 2' yellow horse from the Lin dynasty? They said no, in fact it is normal procedure to have 50 guys that have been given a walkey talkey,$7.00/hour and a tiny bit of power who's job it is to swarm the Museum and look out for mayhem.. It was clear to me that the only reason they had been called over from Labor Ready is to make sure I didn't lean on the wall or answer my phone or basically try and have ANY fun during the tour guides 20 minute lecture on the difference between a red clay pot and a black clay pot.  Seriously, I am in the wrong occupation. These 3 Russian "artists" have hit the occupation lottery. They took some old wood, nailed it together and called it art! I never took wood shop but I promise I could make something that looked better than that piece of junk.I would have understood it he was a blind Russian or maybe lived in the dessert and had to carry the wood a long way when he made it but it was nothing like that. He was a fully functioning Russian that had a nail gun and a dream and someone told him he was an artist. I don't get it. Needless to say, it was a huge waste of my time that I will never get back.  I lost my first Thursday night game in over a month so today's games are important. I haven't lost in over a month and don't want to start now.

 

We play a football team on Sunday that,rumor has it, has a kid that is 11 playing QB. I am not sure how an 11 year old gets to play in the 9 year old league and I am hoping it is just a rumor. Sometimes these things are said when there is a good player. Whatever the case, I can promise you I am going to get to the bottom of it and will let you know.

LITTLE LEAGUE AND BASEBALL

It has been a while since I have updated you on little league action. The last time we talked, I was "making up" with the parents at another school that competed against my 9 year olds football team. Since then a lot has changed. I have only had a couple of flare ups with parents ect and actually have really enjoyed a lot of the teams we have played against.Their coaches have been great sports and most of us are out there for the same thing. I was sure this season was going to be full of problems and suspensions. Not the case. I HAVE heard of some problems in some of the other leagues. Someone told me there was an actual fist fight between two parents in the fifth grade league. I cant confirm this but it certainly wouldn't surprise me. It obviously is totally inappropriate but with the amount of jackass parents running around out there AND the fact we are in Oklahoma, I am just saying , I wouldn't be surprised. The sad thing is , when the parents are out there with the right attitude, coaching football has been one of the highlights of my year. Keep in mind, I am having a GREAT season, but even that success doesn't make me as happy as seeing the smiles on the kids face when they do something good. I give away "Nacho players of the game" each week to some of the kids. We have the offensive and defensive awards but also have awards like the 'healthy heart " award for the kid that shows the most heart each week. The kids love getting these awards and the free nachos that come with them. Feel free to steal that idea if you are coaching a team. Trust me, the only thing a 9 year old loves more than being singled out for his good play is when that award comes with nachos.

Caytie Ross, my 6 year old daughter is in week 8 of her soccer season. I have talked about the girls on this team, they are cute little girls that love fashion and have great looking hair bows. They will not however be mistaken for the girl from Bend it Like Beckham or Mia Ham. They are not good! They are 0-8 and have lost every game by an average of 8 goals. The great thing about this is most of the girls can barely count to 8. Most don't keep score in their heads and there isn't a score board where they play. Each week my daughter asks me, "daddy, did we win?" Every week my answer is the same, " of course you won Caytie. It wasn't even close." She smiles and we go get a snack. Next week is their last game of the season, she asked me tonight," daddy, it we win this game are we the champions?" I said "Caytie, you have already secured a trophy. The only question left to be answered is how big is the trophy.That will be decided next Saturday." She looks at me with a determined look as if to say, I will do it for you daddy! That is how I prefer to go through little league. I am an "everybody gets a trophy" kind of guy.

The World Series has started. You know the networks have to be pissed! They had a chance to have LA Dodgers and Boston. Instead they get Philly and Tampa. Worst case scenario for them. I like Philly in 6 games but honestly wont watch many games unless football isn't on. Tonight it is Wedding Crashers on one TV and the baseball on the other. There are worst ways to spend a Wednesday night. I hope your Wednesday is going well also. I am finished with my Saturday selections and they look great. We haven't had a losing week since 9-9 and I don't plan on starting this week, things look great. Jack

THIS WEEK...

It was a very busy week and I am glad it is behind me.Every time I say " I had a busy week" I feel a little stupid. I mean if you think about it, I probably don't even know what a busy week is.Sure I worked from 7am until after midnight Monday and Tuesday but what was I actually doing? It isn't like I was operating on someone or digging a ditch. I had a business trip, but it was to Vegas. Not exactly like  someone going to Milwaukee to sell office supplies. It was a business trip but I ate at Joes Stone Crab and got a massage at Caesars. And no she wasn't blind. So lets just say the week was busy for me.

 

I went to Vegas to compete in the Leroys Sports books, Money Talks Invitational, handicapping contest. I did some radio stuff and then competed against another gambler with our selections over the weekend. The one that picked the most winners out of 7 games advanced to the next round and the loser was out. There were 16 guys invited to compete so if I win 4 rounds I get $80,000.00. This last week I went up against a guy named Jorge Gonzales. Yes, that is his real name. I went 5-2 with my selections and advanced to the next round. I will be going back the weekend of 11-21 for the next round.

 

I got a call from an irate blind woman this weekend. She had listened to my show and decided I hated blind people. Now, I tried not to get angry with her, after all she IS blind, but it was really hard. She was meaner than that mom from Roosevelt and I didn't do half as much to provoke her. All I said was she gave a bad massage and I thought I might have a problem because I went through an entire massage and didn't realize she was blind.  She turned that into ,I hated blind people and she gave a bad massage BECAUSE she was blind. I spent 5 minutes of my Saturday morning (when I am suppose to be getting clients signed up) telling this woman I loved the blind! That was actually a lie because,blind or not, I don't love the  woman that called me.

 

We had our 6th winning week in a row. I am 35-11 over the last 4 weeks. That is really good!! Get signed up and I will check back wih little league stuff later in the week.

WHAT DAY IS THIS

It feels like I have been running around with my head cut off. I think I enjoyed Dallas but was very busy and was feeling kind of sick when I came home. I woke up today thinking it was Thursday and thought I was going to miss my plane to Vegas. Of course, it is only Tuesday and am not late for anything.

I did have a couple of things happen in Dallas.

First, I use to think there was a big difference between the fans from Texas and those from Oklahoma. It always seemed from a far that the Texas fans were smarter, a little more pompous and knew how to hold their liquor a little bit better than the OU fan. The Ou fan always appeared drunker, louder and had a bunch of women fans that were sure they knew everything there was to know about football but actually only knew that they liked winning. Nobody cares if you are screaming the wrong thing when you are winning but go to a game and sit in the OU section when they are losing and have some lady start screaming, " that was a block in the back!!!' when they are at a TV timeout and see how many looks you get. The fact is the Texas fans are exactly like OU fans, they just are uglier because they are wearing burnt orange. I'm not saying I'm a fan either way but there is no debating the fact, burnt orange is ass ugly on everyone.

Second, I came back from the game and decided to go get a massage. I called the hotel spa and asked for their best " deep tissue, female therapist". They told me they had a GREAT one and come on up. I met the girl after waiting 15 min for her to show up. The massage was only 35 min and was suppose to be 50 minutes. I then talked to the girl a bit and returned to the room. My wife said," what happened? You are back early." I didn't take my watch so I didn't realize it was short and frankly it was one of the worst massages ever and I was glad it was over. She said, I needed to call down and tell the spa to take the $100.00 off the bill. I don't like to complain about stuff like that but decided to at least let them know what happened. I called the spa and explained my afternoon. the manager said, " Mr Ross, I am so sorry, the lady you met with was blind and she must have not set her timer correctly." Now, I am not sure what bothered me more, the fact that their best therapist is a blind woman that gives a terrible massage or the fact that I never realized she was blind!! I told them never mind and hung up the phone.

Quite a weekend. It never seems to be dull in my life. Off to Vegas Thursday, I will try and check in from there. We had ANOTHER WINNING WEEK! Have a good evening and enjoy playoff baseball.

THE A B Cs OF THE BLOG

We are right at the 1 year anniversary of this blog. I am sure most of you have the exact date posted on your calender.lol. for the most part I have enjoyed sharing parts of my life and have received literally 10s of emails from people saying they enjoy reading it. I did want to take a second to explain my blatant disregard for the English language while writing each week. I have been asked many times to have someone proofread the blog. My wife " Mrs Fat Jack" has an English degree,and has volunteered on numerous occasions to look over each entry and make the necessary changes. Some tell me that, when I write incorrectly, it makes me sound "uneducated" or even "stupid".  I have considered all of this and yet I do nothing to make the blog more "grammatically friendly" for the scores of readers. Why? Why do I do this?   Well, it is actually a very simple explanation.  I honestly don't care. I honestly couldn't care less if those people that read this blog worry or think about all of the errors I have left behind.  Truth is, I hated English. I never cared what a gerund or a participle was. I wasn't interested in the fact that compound sentences were a bad thing.  Oh, I cared enough to pass. I cared enough to stay eligible and compete in athletics. I cared enough to finish College but I don't care enough to go back and correct a blog entry and honestly I would feel a little bit vein if I did. Think about it, knowing it isn't a strength of mine, I decide to write a blog and then either pay or waste someones time to go back and proof it? Is what I have to say THAT important? Is it so earth shattering that if I don't use the correct contraction or miss a period then the readers will somehow not get all they can from the entry?  the truth is, I am happy,nae, flattered that most of you would take time to come and check in for the updates of my fourth grade football team or the fact I ate too much at the state fair but if you are someone that is REALLY bothered about my grammar then maybe it isn't me that has the problem, maybe you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself, why do I care? Why does it bother me? And if it does bother me why in the hell do I keep coming back and reading this idiots entries!?  For those of you that are saying " but Jack, if people think you are stupid or dont have good grammar, they might not sign up for your service."  If you are one of those people, then the joke is on you. You truly don't understand what I do or how good I am at it. It would be like you being lost in the desert and I own the only water store. You walk up and say " Im not buying water from this stand because he spelled water, wataaerezasr."  If you need water, you buy it from me.  Most people that sign up for my service do so because I offer them something that they cant get anywhere else.  SUCCESS. The ability to turn a profit while betting on sporting events. NOBODY does that better than I do and it wouldn't matter if I was the dumbest person in the world, my clients would still sign up because I MAKE THEM MONEY.   So don't worry about me, as long as people gamble on sports, I will be fine. And if they ever stop playing I can always go write a book about how to get people to read your blog even if they don't gamble and you have bad grammar.  I will use a ghost writer for that. 

 

WE ARE 21-6 OVER THE LAST 16 DAYS!!! THAT MEANS IF YOU BET $100.00 ON EACH OF MY SELECTIONS, YOU ARE UP $1400.00!!!! NOT BAD FOR AN IDIOT.  

 

If you are betting on the games, sign up today and have a great weekend. Jack

HUGE WEEK IN THE BOOKS AND BUSY COUPLE OF WEEKS AHEAD

This last week was very busy but also a lot of fun. Some of the weeks highlights were posted on this blog so I wont bore you with them but it was also filled with great picks and lots of profit for my clients and I. Yesterday, we had our second fourth grade tackle football game. We played a team that is coached by a guy we have seen before and always has his teams prepared. During the game, a couple of our kids got mad at each other and started fighting after the whistle. The other coach immediately stepped in and we brought the kids together and calmed things down. Football has been interesting in that at times it has been easy to stop looking at these kids as fourth graders and just look at them as football players. I think one of the most important things we can do as coaches is remember they are children and take those opportunities to stop play and teach these little kids how to resolve their problems with the other team, before they escalate and become a big deal.  I also had a parent of mine get a little upset with the playing time of his kid. We had a passionate talk about my trying to get all 26 kids more playing time while still trying to win the game. We also talked about when is and is not an appropriate time to ask if their kid can play more. I think we will both do better.  We are in week 2 of the games and I have already had 2 different problems with people. I can only wait to see what the rest of the season brings. One of the exciting things has been is I never know who or when I am going to piss someone off.Most people that know me will tell you, I am one of those people that doesn't mind conflict. In the past I used as a way to vent frustrations and did things that were childish.The president of a local bank once tried to stiff me the 950.00 he lost to me playing golf so I took the opportunity to post  4'x20' banner all over his neighborhood, telling everyone what kind of person he was. After 3 days of things I am not proud of, his wife finally wrote me a check. I am not proud of my actions, but it does illustrate how far I've come in the last few years. I will say I have been REALLY proud of myself as to how I have handled these little conflicts. In the past, I would have just declared all out war on people and not taken the time to look in the mirror and see how I could have behaved different. Now, I still have some of those urges but I take a second to think before I go,add a new feature to my show,or buy a billboard to vent my anger. Wayne Dyer would be proud. The truth is I am normally at least part to blame for any issues that may arise in my life and finally being able to look at that first has saved myself and others a lot of headache. Bring on the next flare up. LOL.

 

We went 11-3 in my selections last week. Life is sooo much easier when we string lots of winning weeks together.

 

This week starts a stretch of very busy days. Friday, I am off to Dallas, Texas for some radio and the OU vs Texas game on Saturday, then back for football Sunday. Wednesday I will be shooting TV commercials all day for a casino here in Oklahoma. Thursday , I am off to Vegas to participate in the first round of  $80,000.00 Leroys Sports Book Invitational Football Handicapping  Championship. I will do a national radio show Friday night and lots of other events over those 3 days.

I am running really well and hope I can stay hot for that.

 

Have a great week. If you are driving to a game this weekend, be safe and I will check back in a couple of days.

WEEKEND LOOKS GOOD, NEW CLIENTS AND MENDING FENCES

Well, it has been VERY busy the last couple of days. The new month means the clients that signed up for 30 days are set to renew. I am happy to say that out of the 835 clients that were having to pay for the new month, all but 16 decided that winning was a good idea as we head into October. Starting the year winning is a great thing and October is normally our best month of the football season. The clients that waited to sign up now instead of at the beginning of the season missed a great start and are typically down on the year but it isn't too late to make them a lot of money this season. A long way to go. I always say, it is a marathon and not a sprint. Not that important how we do in one month, but how we finish the season.

 

I had a meeting today with the production people for some TV commercials we will be running for some poker events this winter at the Lucky Star so get ready for my ugly face to invade the commercial breaks during your favorite shows.

 

 For those of you that are keeping up with my 4th grade tackle football saga and the developing feud between myself and Roosevelt08mom. I have some news... after some negations between the parties and some  concessions by both sides, the "developing conflict" has been resolved.  I offered up an apology for offending some of the parents and players at Roosevelt Elementary and encouraged a symbolic " sportsmanship embrace" before our next meeting. The ARPOTTFTTHTFJA or their more familiar name,  Angry Roosevelt Parents Of Their Tackle Football Team That Hate The Fat Jack  Association, through their leader, Roosevelt08mom have declined the invitation to meet for an embrace but sent me this email 

 

Dear Jack,

 

We wanted to let you know that the email was not written by one person, but was a collaborative effort on the part of several mom's who were not amused by the constant abuse of our team and coach on your radio show and blog.  We do not believe that issues regarding our children are  always appropriate topics for public talk radio.  The "idiot, jackass, stupid" dad that ACCIDENTIALLY caught the ball in the air made a simple mistake.  He, just as you and all the other dad's out there are volunteers who do not derserve constant ridicule when they make a mistake...and neither do you!  We owe you an apology for the nasty things that were said in the email, it shouldn't have been an attack on you, but rather on your behavior.  Sorry!

The email was sent to simply say--Let's keep the focus on the reason we are ALL out there--the boys who so look up to us for example!  Although we may not meet you on the fifty-yard line for the very tempting "sportsmanship embrace," we would be happy to wave to you from the sidelines!  See you in the playoffs!

Rooseveltmoms08

 

Let this be a lesson for the leaders of the countries around the world.  If the parents from Roosevelt Elementary and a Jackass coach from Truman can come together and bury their differences so that all parties can benefit and have a more enjoyable football season. Anything is possible.

 

THATS HOW YOU MEND FENCES,BABY!!! HAVE A GREAT WEEK AND GET SIGNED UP!!!!!

PASSION, GRAMMER AND A DISCLAIMER TO AN EARLIER ENTRY.

Well, I am getting ready for a new week and I got an email that you might find interesting. Please read disclaimer below so we are all on the same page...

This is from a parent of the tackle football team we opened the season with from Roosevelt Elementary in Norman, Ok.

rooseveltparent08 aka Wendy writes...

Fat Jack,

After being directed to a blog that you wrote this past week I was moved to write to you. Let me start by saying that I have really never considered anything you say or do worth responding to because, quite honestly, I think you are a total jerk. Not only do you make your living off the misfortunes of others, but because I actually knew you in high school.

I would like to begin by suggesting that with all the big bucks you must be earning, that you pay someone to proofread your blog, your grammar is horrible. It's very obvious that English was not your strong subject.

Secondly, as a mom of one of the boys on the other football team I would like to point out that your blog entry titled "A Few Clients and Jackass at Little League" is not only ridiculous, but untrue. You know as well as I do that the story you tell is not the way the game went down. The ball did not hit the ground twice before your "spider monkeys" were ready to pounce on it, it was caught in the air! Your spider monkeys hadn't even broken through the line! I have the video if you would like to review it.

Maybe rather than blaming the other team for your loss, you should own up to the fact that your offensive coach is incompetent. You had the entire game to score and you were shut out!!!! (To think you didn't win with "Baby Jesus" on your side). But truly, the most disturbing part about this situation is that someone with such little sportsmanship and regard for others is a role model for young boys on the Titan's team. It's no wonder our world is headed the direction it is when someone like yourself is leading our young.

So please, have a little respect for yourself (AT LEAST for your team) and take the loss like a man! Take some responsibility and try to remember that you (as sad as it may it be) are setting an example for others!

OUCH!!! THAT REALLY HURT. I mean REALLY REALLY hurts!! This woman REALLY HATES ME. I mean really really hates me. I don't know what I did, besides make a joke about our football game, but she hates everything about me.

I think it is funny she didn't include her name but it is a small town and it didn't take long to figure out who has the amount of time,energy and rage to take the time to write me about a blog entry.

DISCLAIMER- It has been brought to my attention that there might a few people that were not amused by my blog entry entitled " A few clients and a Jackass at Little league". To these people I apologize; The last thing I meant to do is fire up rooseveltmom08 or any of the other parents of the boys from Roosevelt Elementary. I did not mean to imply that they didn't beat my sons tackle football team fair and square. I did not mean to imply that the fact that one of their parents picked up a live ball in the end zone was the reason we lost the game. Most importantly, I didn't mean to imply that i give a crap as to whether my sons team wins or loses in their football game. I simply thought it was a funny and odd thing that would be amusing to blog about. If my entry has in any way tarnished or tainted Roosevelt's dominating victory over the Truman Titans, I sincerely apologize. As for rooseveltmom08, I offer her my apology and I promise you this. The next time our team plays Roosevelt's 4th grade tackle football team, I am going to go to the 50 yard line before the game starts. I will stand there for exactly 2 minutes. My hope is that rooseveltmom08 will join me at the 50 yard line for a sportsmanship embrace. A simple hug between a VERY angry mom from Roosevelt and a Jackass, bad grammar, loser, crook, jerk that is trying to build a bridge between the idiots and the passionate. BTW, I'm the idiot and you are the passionate.

Hope this clears some things up and starts mending some fences!

A WINNING WEEK AND SOME OTHER HANDICAPPERS

We are coming off a 7-3 week and another winner Monday night with the OVER. Things are going great and most of my clients are happy. I don't spend much time talking about other handicappers. This is on purpose. the fact is, there are 3 types of people that sell selections. Here is a quick lesson in what most of these services are about.

 

Type 1-  The "scam artist". Unfortunately, about 90% of all handicappers fall in this category. these are guys that can sell ice to an Eskimo. Have you ever had a vacuum salesman come to your door?  When you went to the door, you had already made up your mind, you were going to calmly and nicely tell the gentleman you didn't need a vacuum and then close the door. You open the door, start into your explanation as to why you will not be buying anything from him today. You explain how you don't need a vacuum, you dont want a vacuum and if you did, you would simply go to Lowes and buy one. Then something happens, you black out, only to come to while writing a $2000.00 check for your new Robinson 4000 Gl vacuum cleaner. Well, that salesman is also a handicapper. He sells you stuff you don't need by day and sells gamblers his losing picks by night.  The easiest way to spot these crooks , is to remember, if they were any good at picking games, they wouldn't be calling you. They would be busy and make plenty of money betting on their "so called" winners and wouldn't need to call you.

 

Type 2- the "honest loser"- The fact is, it is very hard to consistently pick winners against the spread. There are some companies that really want to be honest. they don't lie to their potential clients to get them to sign up. Instead, they charm them with stats and trends and other things that make for good radio. they tell you about a team that , when playing on the road, with their black uniforms, when their qb was named Charlie, when it was below 56 degrees, when playing a team with a cougar or puma as a mascot, hasn't lot in the last 56 years!!!  They present this in a southern charm way that makes you want to sign up and join this "good ole boy" in the winners circle. The problem is, the guy that goes with this approach hasn't HAD A WINNING SEASON IN 3 YEARS!!!  He was 2-8 2 weeks ago, he has had 2 different 5 STAR GAME OF THE MONTHS.. whatever the hell that is.. both were losers. He is very dangerous because, although you want him to win, he will take you all the way to the poor house. If you hear Greg Roberts on the air... RUN THE OTHER WAY!!! At least until he figures out how to win. I have gotten his selections for 4 years and am pulling for him. Unfortunately, I am still waiting for him to turn a profit.

 

Type 3- The Winner- Their are very few guys that fall into this category. the fact is, most of the guys that can turn a profit betting on games, don't sell their selections. I am asked all the time " Jack, if you can make money betting on the games, why do you need to sell me the picks?" I have always found this to be a strange question. My answer is, WHY NOT SELL THE SELECTIONS?  I am yet to find someone that can explain why it is a bad thing to sell my winning selections to other gamblers. I bet the games before the lines move, then I release the selections to guys all over the country and they pay me a small fee so they can make money too. Who is the loser there? I frankly don't know why more people that can win betting on the games don't do the same thing.  As I said I am not the only one that is in this category. I know of 2 others that also bet their selections and are pretty good at finding the winners.

 

Hope this helps if you are trying to decide to sign up. The fact, I know the 3 categories and know most of the handicappers that are in each of these groups,hopefully will help you make the correct decision  when looking for someone to help you pick winners.

A FEW CLIENTS AND A JACKASS AT LITTLE LEAGUE

Well, a very busy weekend in the books and I have a few seconds to reflect. My reflections have just confirmed the high amount of idiots I crossed paths with over the last few days.

 

This time of year,I receive about 100 emails/week. Most are questions about the service. Some are compliments or thank yous from happy clients  but I ALWAYS  get 2 or 3 emails from guys that are just plain stupid. Each week, I try and personally return all of these emails , even the ridiculous ones. This week I got one from this idiot named Jeremy. Now, I got 20 emails telling me how good the season was going and I know I have collected over 30k this season BUT  Jeremy promised me that I in fact was not making any money this season and had lost money.  These emails use to drive me crazy. I would spend countless hours going back over my selections with these idiots until I showed them where they, forgot a few selections or put some of their losses into my record. Over the years I learned, the amount of frustration that I would have to endure in proving these morons wrong just wasn't worth it. Now, I don't even try. I figure if I can make 900 of the 1000 clients happy then I am way ahead. There are always going to be born losers that sign up, get mad, quit, lose on their own and quit gambling. It is the natural process, not everyone can be smart enough to sign up, get out of the way and collect their money each week.

 

My sons 4th grade football team which I will from now on refer to as the Titans had their first game Sunday. I am the coach and it has already been a learning experience. I have talked about idiot parents in many entries. Well, I am about to decide that everything is kicked up a notch when you put pads on. this includes the parents and other coaches. In the fourth grade, offensive plays and scoring are the hardest thing to teach. Anyone that has ever seen Lord of the Flies knows that. If you tell a 9 year old " go tackle that other 9 year old" that comes pretty natural to him, but tell him to block while another kid hands the ball to another kid who will then run and then...... well you get the idea. They also lose interest and it is harder to teach.  We were down 7-0 and punted the ball inside the other teams 5 yard line. My kids were smelling blood and were getting ready to get all over the QB, when their center snapped the ball over the head of his QB. Now as the ball took its second bounce in the end zone and my kids were getting ready to pounce on it like a pack of spider monkeys after a banana.. The other teams Jackass of a coach picked up the ball !!! My kids weren't sure rather to tackle the coach with the ball or just try and take it out of his hands. When he was asked " why did you pick up the loose ball that was getting ready to be recovered for a TD?" He responded, "Because I am a Jackass and I didn't want Fat Jacks team to get a touchdown and take the lead."  Well, maybe he didn't say that but that is the only explanation I could come up with.  The good thing is, we will play them again and if he touches the ball again, I am going to tackle him myself.  Shame on the idiot the first time, shame on me the second time. 

 

Have a great weekend. We are having a great month and October is traditionally my most profitable month of the football season.

GOOD WEEK AND THE FAIR

We had a very good weekend last week with the selections. I will never understand the guy that says " I dont bet enough to sign up for your service" and when I ask how much they lost this week, they respond " about 200.00". It seems they would be better off investing that 200.00 into my selections and then collecting 300.00 each week with those selections. I dont know,maybe its just me.

 

I took my kids out of school to go to the fair on Monday. I really wonder who is deciding which days we wont have school and then they decide to have school during the fair. If it was up to me, we would schedule "teachers meetings" and " parent conferences" ect during the Fair. The kids get to go to the Zoo, the museum ect but no Fair? I promise those kids would learn a lot more at the fair then they will at the Zoo.  State Fair Lesson #1.- Stay in school!  That seems like a pretty big one.  We explained to the kids that went with us that they were just 2 or 3 bad decisions away from being forced to run the Big Kahuna Roller coaster. I do wonder how they decide who will work which booth. I would much rather work the " load the toad" game on the Midway than to have to secure peoples belts on some ride. I guess its not what you know, its who you know,even at the fair.  I lost/paid over $20.00 looking in the "freak exhibits". No matter how bad the freak ride I just left was, I somehow got suckered into looking in the next cage. I paid 4.00 for all of us to go look at a 300lb snake that was going to "turn our dreams into nightmares" only to see a medium size boa constrictor taking a nap. Then , they got me to pay 5.00 to go see a "monkey with a human head" that was suppose to" frighten and amaze us all at the same time". this monkey had a face that I guess might be found on a human, a human that had a Monkey face. The final straw was the woman with no teeth that was dressed up like a spider. It was sold to me as a "half spider, half woman" .  It cost me 4.00 to see a bad Halloween costume with a lady that looks like she was on crack. I guess that is what I get for going to the Fair and acting like a "normal guy behaving like an idiot".That exhibit was free for the kids that went with me. We did have a great time.

 

Looking for another huge week so get signed up.

4-2 SATURDAY AND ISSUES AT SOCCER

We are off to a good start this week but it could be a WHOLE lot better. We had an intentional safety and a TD overturned on Saturday or it would have been a real big day. Oh well, a winning week is a good week.

I went to my 6 year old daughters soccer game yesterday morning. The weather was beautiful but a storm was brewing. We played this team that had " that coach". He was about 30 years old, about 5'9 and 250 lbs. He was decked out in OU gear and I could immediately tell, along with HIS Oklahoma Sooners,he had his sights set on chasing down a 6 year old girls soccer title. His team has 3 girls that had power kicks like Pele and 1 girl with the speed of a leopard and the strength of a lion. They worked together like a "mini soccer symphony" with pinpoint accurate passing and shots that David Beckham would admire. Our team is made up of 6 little girls that love pink, love fashion, love bows in their hair and don't like to sweat. I am positive, their coach had bet 1000s on the game because as the score soared to 14-2 , the words " ONE MORE GOAL" could be heard echoing throughout the soccer complex. I am pretty sure he played his, Soccer Assassins -13 goals and over 16 1/2 goals. During the game, our fans got a little excited about the poor officiating the 12 year old referee was giving us, the fact the other coach was acting like a Jackass and some of our parents dont like to lose either. At half time, our coach, came over and told our parents to stop yelling at the 12 year old official and no matter what their parents threw at us (cans, gum, chairs ect) we needed to act like adults. I might have taken offense to that if I was a parent that cared about 6 year old soccer or if most of his comments weren't directed at his wife. She was the main focus of his lecture. After an hour and 17 min of soccer excitement, it was over. Final score....you know, who gives a crap what the final score was!! They won, we lost, they are still south side idiots that need to get a life and I still don't care about 6 year old soccer!!! Although, Caytie DID look awesome and loved her snack.

We have our first 9 year old tackle football game today. I am the head coach so it may get hot! Have a great day.

SOME FANS ARE DOUCHE BAGS- IS "DOUCHE BAGS "A DIRTY WORD?

Sorry for the delay on an entry but as you can imagine, I have been VERY busy. the first week went well and I turned a nice profit. this last week wasn't as good. I lost Thursday, Friday and Sunday and pushed on Saturday. For most this would still be an OK season so far but the bar is really high for my clients and I. We will have a great month and season but I hate to lose. EVER. My wins have all been easy and my losses have mostly been due to turnovers ect. so I am close to having a huge run. Sometimes it is as important to know why we lost as it is to just know we lost. If I was picking teams like Cincinnati against OU I would be worried but my wins are teams like Michigan State -21 and won by 35 and Philly on Sunday -8 and won by 35. the losses were teams like Pittsburgh -12  and won by 10. FINE. Look for a good week.

 

I took my son to the OU game on Saturday. I am amazed at what I see every time I try and take him to a game. I have never understood guys that yell at the coaches. I heard " throw it to the tight end!!" and " you call that a block?"  Now most of the  idiots yelling stuff are 5'1 guys that are ALWAYS bald and clearly morons. My son asks,"dad, why is he yelling at the field?" I say " Son, he is a moron." That is all I can come up with. Even if the idiots yelling knew the rules and had a clue what they were talking about, the coaches would never hear them and if they did do we really want them listening to the bald guys in the good seats?   I think it would be great if just once, Brent Venables would turn around and say, " hey baldy in the 5th row, thanks for the tip I was wondering if I should blitz and you really helped." " you are the man!!"  Budweiser should do a commercial about those guys.

 

I will try and give a 4th grade football and 6 year old soccer update later this week.

 

If you are betting, you are probably losing. Get signed up!!!

LABOR DAY WEEKEND AND FOOTBALL

Well, this is the first day of the rest of your life, if you are betting on the games. I have been VERY busy this week. We had a good year last season and a great basketball season so everyone is excited about the fall,which starts today. I bet on 3 future bets this season to start the season. I like

 

NEW ENGLAND TO HAVE UNDER 12 WINS

GREEN BAY TO HAVE UNDER 8 1/2 WINS

OHIO STATE TO HAVE OVER 10 1/2 WINS

 

The Fat Jack Sports Hour, my one hour show that runs in 29 markets around the country, is going into its third week of the season and things are not going that well,yet. My staff  forgot how to talk into microphone over the summer and it is just not sounding that good. I am going to have a staff meeting and try and figure out something. It might just be that I am losing my sense of humor. Like a normal guys hair or hearing might go, I could be slowly losing my wit and personality. I am going to hope it is the staff and not me but I will let you know.

 

Today is a big day because, as much as I tell guys to budget themselves and not bet too much this opening weekend but the excitement is too much for some so it is always good to win early. In fact it is a good idea to win early and late in my business. that is always the plan.

 

We start 9 year old football and 6 year old girls soccer this week so I should have some good stuff later. Have a good weekend and steer clear of the amateur drunks this Labor day weekend. 

GAME WEEK!!!!

After months of getting ready, it is finally here. Game week! Now in some parts of the country , they don't consider it game week until the week the NFL starts. If you are in the business of making money betting on games, that theory would cost me and my clients an average of 3 wins/season. Obviously, we don't win every opening week but with the 13-4 preseason record so far it looks like I might be a fast starter again this season. I enjoy the first month of the season even though it is very busy. The calls I get change throughout the season and this is by far the best time to be answering questions. The calls now are to simply sign up or if they have questions they are about sports books, how much to play, how they get the picks ect. The calls I get later in the season are from guys that are pissed off because they have been losing on their own or worse, have been taken advantage of by some other service. I can help those guys dig out of their hole but I always tell them it is much more fun when you making profit each week as opposed to trying to get back to even. If I could tell guys one thing, it is much better to sign up before the season and play my picks along with your picks as opposed to waiting until they have that terrible week that takes them to that desperate place of either quiting or getting help form me. I can make that week a lot better even if they are losing with their own selections. Should be a good week and Thursday is only a few days away. I will check back in a couple of days.

LONG DAY AND THE SEASON IS ALMOST HERE

Today was the first time this yea  that I went on the radio around the country to talk about the season. It is something I enjoy doing because I feel it is a time to talk about the differences between myself and the other handicappers out there. Most in this business are dishonest and crooks. Teaching people how to see the difference between a guy that is only going to take their money and someone that can help them actually turn a profit is an important part of what I do.  Not all are bad, I have made a nice friend in Florida that is similar to me. He has a good perspective picking the games, from what I can tell he also turns a profit betting on the games and doesn't screw his clients. I feel pretty confident the main thing that makes us different than the other guys that sell their picks is WE WIN. It sounds simple but most of the scams and angels that other handicappers come up with are out of the realization that they cant win and why would anyone want to sign up with a loser.  The stations I go on with are funny. Some of them I have been with for years and know I win betting on games. Those interviews are easy because they understand the service I am doing for their listeners and the segments are easy and helpful for everyone. the new ones are sometimes a bit harder and it takes a few weeks for them to understand the differences I offer. I always ask the new hosts to contact me before our segment and most do so things run well but every year I have a couple of train wrecks during week 1. I am sure some of the people listening in those markets are left scratching their heads after I come on the first week. For example, here is how one went today...

 

HOST-   So Fat Jack, It looks like you are making everyone rich with your preseason picks. 11-3 That is awesome! Is it true that you are considered the best preseason handicapper in the country?

 

ME- Auh, No. There is no such thing as "the best preseason handicapper in the country". In fact, betting on the preseason is one of the hardest things to do if you are trying to turn a profit.

 

HOST- But you are doing so well. So do you have one huge lock 50,000 star lock you can let our listeners in on before next weeks games?

 

ME- My lock for next week is I WILL eat Furrs for dinner this weekend. You can take that one all the way to the bank. There is no secret information lock of the century coming this week but if you want to make money betting on the games over the season, I am who you need to call. If you treat betting on the games like a business and give sound selections to your clients over the season, you don't have to come up with a 50,000 star lock that may or may not win.

 

HOST- Pause,dead air Well, Jack that actually sounds great and it sounds like I need to learn more about how YOU do things.

 

(NO Sh** !!)

 

Next week will be better with him.

 

 Truth is , the preseason this year is just the beginning of what is going to be a GREAT year. Have a great weekend.

 

 

SOME GOOD,BAD AND UGLY

First the good. I am now 10-3 in the preseason. It is going to be a great football season and I cant wait for the regular season. I am going to tape my first show of the season(hiatus is over) tonight. Getting ready for this year has been a lot more work. I am adding a " Weekend Preview" show this season that will be a totally different show and will run in some markets prior to the weekend, thus the name. I have added some new advertisers for this show and it should be a nice compliment to the "Fat Jack Sports Hour". Just a note, if you don't want to wait for these shows to come on the radio, you can go to the pod cast part of my website and either download the shows or listen live starting on Thursday afternoons. This would be a good time for you to go listen to the show and email me with the stuff that is too offensive to run on the radio so I can try and get it changed before the weekend.lol.

 

The Bad- Little league football starts next week. It looks like I am going to coach my 9 year old sons team. I really don't have any interest in coaching his team but the other dads that would do a great job decided,for one reason or another, they were not going to be the coach. Some of the guys that I was told might end up being the coach have reputations for being real douche bags and it was looking like it might be a long miserable season for all, in fact I had 11 DIFFERENT PARENTS approach me and said if one of these 2 or 3 guys were the head coach, they were not going to play. Now that is a red flag! So I decided to go ahead and coach. I am bracing myself for some of the things I am afraid are coming. Here is the problem,not only am I not one of those little league parents, I am also one of those guys that says EXACTLY  what I am feeling. I hate those people that smile to your face and then talk behind your back so I probably have overcompensated and am known for saying things that might be better left unsaid. I am working on that but I am not sure I am going to be fixed by next week.  The other problem is I TRULY don't care weather my son is good at football or not.I have said before, I was the team captain and MVP of my high school team, voted to the 80s All Decade team for my 5A school and signed a D-1 letter to play NCAA football. I don't look for my son to carry on the family name. LOL   In fact, I really wish my son would say he wants to join a band or take up swimming so I  wouldn't have to deal with some of the 5'3 underachieving dads that I am already having to talk to.  I think most of their hearts are in the right place but some of the things they say are laughable. I don't want to quote any examples (yet) because I am trying to do the right thing. I know God doesn't want me to make fun of these idiots so I am going to try and take the high road but stay tuned, that doesn't always work out.  For those of you dads out there that might think your 9 or 10 year old is going to be the next Brett Farve, let me end your suspense. There is a 90% chance your kid is going to be about as good as you were in sports. Might be a little better or a little worse but similar so if you were a 5'3 third string moron, then chances are you are going to be able to read your sons name on the back of his jersey at the high school games because he will be the one sitting next to the water cooler the entire game.If you were a good high school player that didn't get the "right exposure" and didn't get your chance in College, your kid might need to start looking at NAIA or D-2 schools even if he is a stud in the 4th grade. I know this hurts but it may help your pain later when you realize this yourself , Finally, If you were a great player in high school and beyond then chances are I am not talking about you in this piece because you act like a winner and not like some desperate loser looking for one more chance. Of course, this doesn't apply to all parents, most are great, but it is something some parents need to hear and unfortunately it looks like I may have to be the messenger for a while.

 

THE UGLY- While in California last week my 6 year old daughter thought it would be funny to sneak up on me at the beach and fill my belly button up with sand. Now for most of you this would not be a big deal but if  your belly button looked like the hole leading to the center of the earth, it is a bigger deal. She attacked me on Friday last week and I am still pulling sand out of my belly!  The bigger problem is the friction from all of my digging around in there has caused a rash to form coming out of my belly. Just so you will know, your belly button is a lot like your pinkie toe, you don't worry about it until it hurts. Take it from me, it is no fun to have a rash coming out of your belly button.

 

Guys getting signed up every day and the free winners are paying for their service fee. Remember, it is better to sign up and win all season then it is to play on your own and pay each week. Sounds simple but some of you need to hear that. School starts for the kids tomorrow so I will be busy. Have a good week.

THE BIRDS ARE SINGING

Sometimes you wake up and the birds are singing. We are less than 2 weeks away from the regular season and already things are going great! I am 6-2 in preseason football and 4-0 this week in baseball That is 10-2 this week playing the games. Even if Oakland doesn't get over 34 points tonight it is still a lot of free profit. I always tell people that the preseason is VERY unpredictable and if we can make even a couple of dollars before the season starts then that is a good beginning to the year. I give these selections for free to anyone that signs up for the fall so the expectations are low  but it is a bonus when things go well early.

I am in California on business today and will be back Monday to tape the first addition of the Fat Jack Sports Hour which starts airing a week from tonight. Caytie Ross told me we should move and open an ice cream shop in Hawaii. I didnt have the heart to tell her ice cream would only make me fatter and wasnt as much fun as winning. Here is your star update... I saw "The Huntington Beach Bad Boy "Tito Ortiz in Huntington Beach, the cocky muscular guy that just got kicked off Big Brother and I saw the fat  guy from Borat.

 Have a good weekend and get signed up. As I said, the shows start next weekend so check your local times for those shows or you can always download each show on the website.

SURVIVORMAN AGAINST MAN VS WILD

 

I have other entries talking about the bad television this summer but one of the good things is I have had the chance to get turned on to shows I didn't have time for last year. My favorite show this summer has to be the "train wreck"  of a show I Love Money on VH1.  Although I look forward each to Sunday so I can find out if "The Entertainer" is going to sleep with "Nibbles" or how far "White Boy" will go for the 250k, this entry isn't about them.

 

This entry is a breakdown of the two morons that have survivor shows on cable. The first one is Survivorman.  This is a show about an American bushman that looks like the guys you see protesting city expansions when you watch the city council meetings on public TV. He is middle aged, not in shape  and from the first second I watched I was sure he would never die on the show. He would never get that far because at the first sign of a problem would start crying like a baby and run for the crews camp for safety. The allure of these shows is I need to think there is a real chance something bad might happen while on these adventures. The episode I watched, he was in a rain forest and "heard" a puma and immediately ran for the jungle bushman village for safety.  If you are a true survivor, there is no "village" to run and hide in. You take on the puma or you die.

 

The winner by far is "Man vs Wild". This Australian idiot is by far the most likely to die on the job. It might be something in the water over there, although I was sad to hear about the crocodile hunter, Steve Irwins, death, I cant say I was surprised to hear he lost a battle with a killer stingray. The host of Man vs Wild might have even higher life insurance rates than Irwin did. I have seen him do lots of things that made me shake my head but last night took the cake. He was in the desert trying to die of thirst. He got stung by a bee that made his face look like the elephant man. Then he killed a rattle snake (which he ate) took the skin of the snake,tied a knot in one end , peed in the other end and then later drank his own urine to help from dying from thirst! I'm not kidding, I couldn't make this stuff up.

 

In summary, anyone willing to drink their own urine instead of getting on the phone and calling for the chopper to bring them a Gatorade is the champion. Just my opinion.

 

I am 5-1 to start the preseason ( check out free winners section for details) and am going to make us a lot of money before the season even starts. It is going to be a BIG year so get signed up. Have a great week, I am off to California for some business before we get the season started.

FAVRE AND PRESEASON AND POKER

The Brett Farve saga is finally over and the winner is..... NOBODY!! They both lose. This has been one of the biggest train wrecks since OJ Simpson started memorabilia shopping in Vegas hotel rooms. Green Bay has been acting like a team that went 6-10 last season. I understand the bipolar nature of Favres actions but you don't throw out the baby with the bathwater. Just because he put the Packers in a bad position, doesn't mean they shouldn't welcome him back as their started. Not because he is a legend. Not because if you are wrong about Rodgers you will have some Packer fans wanting to burn down Lambeau field but  Because he is the best quarterback to get them one more win than they had last season and into the Super Bowl.

Favre isn't without fault. In fact he is going to be punished more than the Green Bay fans are. The one way to guarantee that his consecutive starting streak was going to end this season is to go to the Jets. He is going to get beat up more playing for the Jets than I would trying to crash a 50 Cent after party.  Mark my words, the streak WILL end this season and this all will be a bad ending to a great career. A career that should have ended sometime in Janurary in a Packer uniform.

Prediction- Favre doesn't start the 8th game of the season for the Jets and Green Bay does not make the playoffs. I feel sorry for both.

 

I am in the middle of preparing for the season and guys are getting signed up everyday. This weekend is the "Dog Days of Summer Poker Classic' at the Lucky Star Casino. It has been a huge success so far but I will say I am always amazed the amount of stupid people that are given positions of power in big companies. I obviously cant expound but if you are a person that is as dumb as a stump, has never made a correct decision and is lucky to walk upright. Don't give up because there are some good paying jobs out there that you can have. I am not sure how to get them but I know some of your equals that have landed these positions.

 

We are 2-1 in the preseason and I am really getting a feel for these week 1 games. We made money last year in the preseason and I really feel like it might be 2 in a row. These selections are free to everyone that signs up for the fall so today is a good day to get in the system if you are betting on the preseason.

 

Stay tuned because I went to our 9 year old coaches meeting and we are going to have a lot of entries over the next month about little league sports and short men that need to get a life. There were some good parents there also but they wont be as much fun to make fun of so I will most likley focus on the idiots.  Have a good weekend and Happy birthday to my baby girl that turned 6 years old today.She is the best daughter I could have asked for.

 

 

 

 

PRESEASON AND THE OUTBACK

Well, the preseason has finally started. I find that the preseason is a little like going to Disney World. Every time I take the family to " The greatest place on earth" I am very excited on the drive up to the gate but after entering,quickly start wondering when we can go back to the pool. Preseason symbolizes the start of football but about half way thru the opening game I start counting the weeks until the "real" season starts. I handicap the preseason and offer the picks for free to everyone that is signed up for the fall. I always tell people that if you are betting on the preseason you must be really bored but I will try and help on these very unpredictable games. NOTE- One of the easiest ways to tell if a handicapper is a scam artist or not is if he tells you the preseason is a great way to make money, RUN. There is no way to know how long the starters are going to play and handicapping 3rd and 4th string guys is like trying to handicap a 9th grade girls volleyball game. Not easy. With that being said we had OVER 32 last night. 1-0 in the preseason.Don't call it a streak!!

I took my wife to Outback last night for dinner ,which was lovely. (old school reference) I will tell you I am a bit offended by what happened with their new promotion. We sat down and the girl comes by with 2 cups of what smell like juice. She says " I would like to offer you a free sample of our refreshing summer sangria". She then tells us there is alcohol in it. Now, forget the countless recovering alcoholics that will fall smooth off the wagon due to Outbacks "summer splash" I happen to be a guy that doesn't believe drinking is necessarily a good thing. I don't drink and don't think drinking is for everyone, especially when they are going to go out and drive home with a belly full of steak and sangria. Now before those of you say "Jack, that seem a bit odd that a professional gambler would have a problem with drinking" consider this, studies show that only 1 to 2% of gamblers will end up being addicted were some say it might be as high as 8% of drinkers might need help. I am not against drinking, I just don't think people need it brought to their table along with the appetizer list. Mark my words, someone will win a lawsuit with Outback, after they are found wrapped around a telephone pole with red sangria vomit mixed in with the blood from their injuries.

On an unreleated but sad note. The bulldog used on the front of my new website belongs to my friend Jim Traber. The dogs name is Sophie and along with being a GREAT model was also a great friend to everyone that knew her. Sophie,the wonder dog, passed away last night. She was a full figured gal and didnt like exercise and losing weight but what she lacked in endurance she more than made up for in love. She was 6 years old and is heaven with a fan on her belly today. RIP Sophie Traber.

We are getting busy and if you are planning on betting on the games this season, I can help you win. Give me a call.

STARTING TO GET READY,BUT JUST STARTING

The NFL teams have reported and NCAA teams are packing up and getting ready to report. I find it a bit humorous that if you listed to the "experts" they have already put out their preseason rankings and power numbers. This is funny because especially in college, we just start learning about the makeup of the teams when they actually start practicing. Some schools don't even know who will be starting at QB. To think we will know how good a team is while having to guess who will take the snaps is just ridiculous. I like to start looking at the new season about the time the teams start looking to the new season. I could guess on some of the decisions that these teams will have to make about personal but Why? I don't have to, there is plenty of time to compare match ups and injuries in the weeks to come. The NFL preseason starts this week and while I dont recommend betting on these games, they are a useful tool in deciding how good these teams will be.Late in the NFL season,due to injuries, you will see a lot of these backups that play now having to take on more important rolls with some of these teams.  BTW, if you are one of those guys that is planning on betting your hard earned money on these football games and don't view this time of year as any more than a time to get excited and open your offshore accounts, then you might think about getting signed up. If it was as easy as opening the paper and guessing which teams will win then they wouldnt offer sports betting. the next month is important for those  few of us that will be able to make money betting on the games.

 

They are taking sign ups for 6 year old girls soccer this fall.Some of you will be happy to learn that the Lady Cheetahs will play again and we are getting excited about the season. I have lost a few little girls due to moving and some schedule conflicts with their dance classes but for those few girls that want to try and chase down a title, we will be ready to play this fall!  Fortunately that team doesnt take near as much time to get ready for. Uniform colors and a snack list are the only preseason work I have to do.

 

Have a great weekend! Jack